So much has happend and through trials and tribulation I have risen to great heights yet even at the top I have no one to share my victory where are all the damsels? Have they all been claimed through unconvential methods I strive to be differant than the rabble but like a magnet I am driven to the same animalisic cravings of man and what a foul creature man is a twisted perversion of the natural order envy hate jealousy and lust all the trade mark of this cunning race. A master race and yet at the Same time we are no better than the lesser forms who have to fight to survive. We hunger not for survival but to please are wants and desires.
How can I do it the indecsicion is killing me… I mean I don’t hate him sure he gets on my nerves but I don’t hate him or anything and yet they want me to join some hate group hates a very strong thing… But the cool thing to do Is join…
I sit here a man with nothing to gain and than I meet her green eyes and a smile that makes my heart skip a beat I think of her all the time. And pray to whoever is listening that she is thinking of me too. But at the same time I know that she is the girl for me I would give her anything just to see that smile for even just one second if that’s all I could see for the rest of my life than I would be happy.
sometimes in the course of our lives we sometimes travel down roads that are not as bright and other times we travel roads that we know we shouldnt go down but like moth to flame we are attracted to what will ultimatly destroy us. and yet here i go closer to an unknown port to possibly lose it all. but i do this not for selfish gain or some false sense of pride but i do it for the love of a shadow. its there i can see it but not touch it. so into the chaos i throw myself in order to restore the order that is hidden behind eyes of the all seeing. all this i know is to be true. for im looking for the love of a shadow.
hm where to begin where to begin you know what bugs me people bug me. not all people bug me but here are the things that people do that bugs me.
first off the blamers you know the people who just sit around and bitch about how fucking awful there life is and they blame other people for it… what the fuck is wrong with those people when are they gonna learn that there lives suck is because they make it that way i mean no one else can ever make you happy unless you are willing to be happy. yes i said it being happy is a life choice. but we dont see it that way we want someone to make us better we want someone to tell us how to feel think etc etc etc. but the sad truth is the only person that can ultimately do that is you. yes you whoever you are and most proably its me but thats ok i got alot on my mind right now
speaking of unhappy people thats the second group im gonna target. you know what pisses me off when someone says im too happy im too cheerful… is that a bad thing please tell me thats your way of joking. im too happy… shit thats like telling the sun your too bright or water your too wet you just dont fuckin do it why not? because its just the way it is. yes i have my bad days people who know me better know that i can have bad days and they also know to stay the fuck out of my way. we all have bad days but there are people out there who wont be happy for anything that sucks. that truly sucks that people choose to be unhappy and thats just dumb and its a fucking waste of time. and the funny thing is they will lie and say they are happy. but all there doing is trying to hide themself from judgement they will never be happy if they choose to lie about it because it takes a lot more work to live a lie than tell the truth.
god itd take me years to describe the things i hate well here are two groups if you think you fall in one of these groups than im sorry because you need all the symapthy that you can get.
so youve come here the road less traveled maybe because you were currious maybe you were bored whatever the case maybe welcome to my world, now to give you some warnings yes i sometimes have extreme ideas and sometimes i get worked up really easily and ill say things that shouldnt be said. if that offends you good that means you have feelings and ideas too and thats when you tell me how your feeling if your pissed than i wanna hear it if it makes you happy ditto. i guess this is not really a note persay but more of a formal welcome and warning. im gonna leave you with tbis thought no ones making you read this blog so if you dont like what i have to dont read!!
